Freedom from Inner Conflict

We don’t need to do anything to feel safe with who we are, right here, right now. We are good enough.

So why don’t we feel that way always? All that’s required is our need to agree with this belief…to love ourselves to say YES to our natural desires.

Easy to say. We all know these truths. Yet if we know them,  how come when it comes time to act or follow through upon them something unexpected always seems take us off guard and thwart our self-acceptance.

 

The way you speak to yourself determines how others speak to you. 

It’s 3:30 am as I write this post. While it’s true that I’m still getting over jetlag from my trip to Israel, I’m also facing the daunting tasks of preparing my Science, Sound and Sacred Feminine Voice keynote for Globe Sound Healing Conference.. where we’re launching the Ancient Wisdom and Healing Music Institute with an online training that’ll begin in October. Even with rescheduling the December Well of Wisdom journey to Israel, there are still more actions to complete than there are hours in the day to complete them.  Trust is the  action required, relying upon attractive feminine power to achieve more with less.

From “Victimy” to Self-Worth and Acceptance

So last night I took a break to attend my spiritual support group – a year long commitment I’ve taken to work through the  twelve steps of the Anonymous programs.  Though I did not grow up with alcohol in my home,  I grew up with others who were affected by it. I have found strength and hope over the last 27 years working with these spiritual principles.

We’re in the middle of working the fourth step – taking a moral inventory of ourselves.  Asked to share our fears, I  shared my confusion over having lost my worksheets in transit between LA and Israel. I feared being punished for not “doing” it perfectly, and the point of my sharing my fear was to heal myself beyond that, and open up to trusting others more deeply.

Instead of support, I found barraged by a verbal attack in public (my worst fear is if I show up in my true power and share it, I’ll be humiliated in public and raked over the coals). The man did a superb job of playing out my worst fear. He raised his voice telling me I’m irresponsible, unprepared, didn’t do the work like I was supposed to, was wasting everyone’s time, and sit down, he’s unwilling to listen to me.

I was stunned, shocked, outraged and deeply hurt. Yet placing serenity and inner calm as my goal, I didn’t run, choosing to look within to find the gem of healing.

I discovered:

The mistake: Looking outside of self for approval. I got my ego bruised.

The gift:  Identifying old victimizing voices attacking from within.

The solution: It’s a chance to grow in self worth.

The tool: A mystic sound secret of the ancient Hebrew language to free inner conflict.

Hebrew is a language based in the sacred feminine. It was developed when humanity was still dominated by right brain thinking. Written from right to left, Hebrew is based  upon three letter roots. How those root letters get conjugated  determines the meaning of the word.

If you want to dive deeper to get to the spiritual significance behind the word, you turn the root around.

So, triggered by that old victim habit,  I turned to this ancient sound system to discover a sound solution to my inner conflict.

The root of victim is  – כרבן –  Korban. The root letters are: K – R- V representing the word: victim.

When you turn the letters around, you get – נברך – Nevarech. The root letters are: V-R-K representing the word: Blessing, or more specifically “we will bless”.

OMG,  accepting that I’m the one causing my conflict and inadvertently victimizing myself through destructive use of my own critical voices…becomes a beautiful chance to deepen self love and appreciation of the  gift of “outer” source of conflict. What a blessing to be able to reach in and acknowledge the inner child who just needs to be acknowledged for her truth. I’m grateful for the lesson.

The anger and anxiety melt away.  Friction and combustion is what helps us to expand.

What inner conflicts do you struggle with? Please comment below or on the facebook page and I’ll use your comments as the fodder for content of upcoming healing music videos.

At our booth, I’ll be composing live healing music to melt inner conflict away. Come by and visit us…September 11-1414 and consider joining us for the upcoming Ancient Wisdom and Healing Music course (details coming soon).
All the best, Eliana